Getting to the Heart...

God has been doing some crazy things in my heart lately. If I didn't know any better I'd think it were something else.. but I know better.

Firstly, AFTER my forgiveness list I began earnestly praying for some of the people on it. To say this has taken an act of God would be an understatement. Why should I pray for them? I've forgiven them, that's what counts right? Wrong! We don't pray for people to feel good about our selves or to change them- we pray for them because God asks us to. Part of our walk of faith is learning to listen and be obedient and responsive to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit.

More on this later... the baby needs me...someone said once that if a parent is doing work or at the computer and their child or spouse needs them... they stop what they are doing and go see what is needed.. I too am learning to do this... even in the midst of school, house chores, and the myriad of other roles I play....

Shoot. Now where was I? Oh yes, praying. One of the reasons I believe the Holy Spirit has nudged me to pray for these people is because it's indirect contact which allows him to work on my inner healing- ESPECIALLY where my parents are concerned.

One of the people I have been praying for has really been on my mind lately. I could use prayers for clarity and wisdom in this area. Pray that God would shut the doors I am not supposed to walk to and that I would hear clearly the holy spirit speaking to me. It's hard to explain. It's not me. That much I know.

This is a new level of faith for me. I've heard the voice of what I thought was the holy spirit before but always second guessed it, or just wasn't obedient to what he was asking of me. So this has been a wild week- learning to HEED what the Holy Spirit speaks to me. I find myself really thinking through my words, praying before I speak to people, really seeking His presence each day.

In other news, I am quite enjoying Captivating. It is almost parallel to my journey lately. I am blessed to be part of such an amazing group of godly women- even if I cannot go every week. God always blesses me when I go. I'm also reading Battlefield of the Mind- at least certain parts of it. Today I read about positive thoughts. Ouch! That's something I really need to work on in my life.

I am learning that every day is a choice- a chance- to walk in victory or defeat. I am learning to lean on the everlasting arms of Jesus and less on my own two-bit understanding. My expectations are decreasing because God is becoming all that I need. I feel at peace within my soul a good part of the day. I hear the spirit bring new things to my mind to pray for, new places I need to be set free and I pray and ask for forgiveness and freedom in those areas. What a journey.

Ten years, more than that now, I've been following God and yet here I am, finally standing free from so many of my chains and feeling the FREEDOM we have in Christ in a way I've never understood before. My only question is.. why did it take so LONG for God to bring me to this place?