A wise frend of mine told me recently to visualize my life beyond all these storms. What will it look like? What will I have possibly learned? How will I be transformed?
I sat here thinking about this tonight... Sorry, I just had an intense urge to go outside and watch the sky turn dark. Be back to this in a few....
Ahhh, the goodness of God. I don't know what it is about my backyard but something about it is amazingly peaceful. It's not the most beautiful piece of creation but it certainly draws me closer to my heavenly Father.
As I sat there tonight, I asked God to show me that He was here. He sent me some chirping crickets- a perfect ochestra for my poetic heart. It is such a blessing to know that He is here with me, and cares enough to show me that fact. What a loving Daddy.
The wind blew softly this evening as the sun was setting, and as the wind blew past me I heard a still small voice in my heart. "Child, I love you. I see you. I hear your prayers," it seemed to say to me. I smiled and thanked God for His creation, His ability to speak to me through that creation, and His enduring and unconditional love. There is so much hope in Jesus. So much joy and peace.
I felt the change the minute I walked out the door and sat down. My spirit settled, and my mind stilled for a few moments. I was at peace and my soul had a song all it's own. There is something amazing about it all, some divine gift that only my heart can see. Who else in my family experiences these moments in the backyard?
My children find happiness, playing and chasing each other around the green expanse with a hedge of trees running from one end of the yards end to the other. My husband finds quiet time in his dimly lit shop or standing watch over the grilling meat. Those are good things. But what I find there is a sanctuary, a restorative place for my heart and spirit. A place that invites, no welcomes the voice of God and speaks to my very innermost parts.
My foster mom has a place like this- or at least she did when I lived there. It was her deck. She used to sit out there summer, winter, fall, spring. I always thought it peculiar, but I understand it now. That was her place to talk to God- to lay her own heart bare before Him and to study His word and find renewal for her spirit. It spoke to her the way my blotchy green backyward speaks to me. Something about nature must have been designed by God to nurture our spirits. Going to the beach often breathes poetry into my words. Sitting in my backyard breathes life into my bones, peace into my heart. Where do you get away that speaks to you this way?
The hope of God. The hope of God says that I will not always be here. That we will move beyond these places. I believe in my heart that we will- I include my husband in this. I do not know God's plan or how He will accomplish it but I know it is God's desire to restore and strengthen and reclaim our marriage and our lives. I know that God desires His best for us and for our children. I also know that my heavenly Father is so much stronger than the enemy who is attacking us. So the future looks bright when I think of it in terms of God's will and promises. His Word says that He desires to bring us a hope and a future. That's enough to keep on hanging on for now :)
Lord thank You for Your amazing creation and for the way You speak to my heart. Thank You for Your peace, joy, and love that You give so freely. Thank You for the reminder that You hear the cries of our hearts. Teach us to listen more to Your heart and a little less to our own. Amen
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